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Seven Ways to Say You're Fired and What to Do When It Happens to You
Today's employers scramble for creative ways to advise employees of their unexpected departures. The days of employers being loyal to their employees are long gone. We now live in a culture where every working adult should be wearing a parachute just so he or she can land safely when forced to jump from the corporate tower. How are employers giving employees the boot? 1. You have the opportunity to resign. Let's be honest, you have the opportunity to resign everyday. What makes today so special? Well, it's because you really don't have a choice in the matter. If you say, "Thanks, but I'll pass on that today," you likely will find yourself terminated anyway. Employers use this phrase to ease their guilt. 2. We've decided to go a different direction. That leads the employee to believe that he or she controlled the direction of the corporation. Most of the companies I've been around don't involve average employees in the direction-setting process anyway. In reality, the company hasn't decided to go a different direction; its managers have decided you will go a different direction--toward the door! 3. We are reorganizing and you are no longer needed. I love this phrase because it forces the corporation to admit its previous lack of organization. This usually is a cover for some financial decision in which the manager saved his rear by sacrificing yours. 4. We have a new corporate mandate. Ambiguous explanations always sound intelligent, but they really say nothing. Do you really think the corporate head honchos got together to discuss your future? Ask one of those people to explain the corporate mandate and see if anything intelligible comes out of his mouth! 5. We are downsizing. That also is a great catch phrase. Chances are that the corporation will not be reducing its product or service offerings. There's a good possibility that the managers won't be required to reduce their salaries or control their business expenses. It just means the company will attempt to do more work with fewer people. So you either get dumped or dumped on? take your pick. 6. You are being negatively retained. Huh? That's simply corporate doublespeak for "you're fired!" However, in order to even make such a statement, the corporate mouthpiece first had his or her brain sucked out and replaced with Cool Whip! 7. We have a zero-tolerance policy. So, that means only the perfect people keep their jobs, right? This card is played when a corporation discovers a worker using his or her brain. Maybe the employee argued a point or expressed disagreement with a decision. Like a cult, many corporations require their subjects to avoid any thinking that calls into question the bad decisions of the corporate "brains." When you think, you're no longer tolerated! So, what do you do when you are on the receiving end of one of these statements? 1. Update your resume and circulate it to all of your acquaintances outside your company. Be careful when talking about your previous employer so as not to jeopardize the hush money--sometimes called a severance package. 2. Contact your previous employer's competition... you might be a valuable addition to their workforce! 3. Reevaluate your career goals. Check out the resources available at Dan Miller's http://www.48days.com. 4. Relax. Emotional decisions seldom are smart decisions, so take your time. 5. Look forward, not backward. Don't dwell in the past but rather move forward toward the new beginning you have ahead. If you are an employee of a company, the chances are good that you'll be terminated at some point in your working career. If you are an employer, you might have to terminate an employee. Whatever you do, just shoot straight. No one likes talking to someone who intentionally is ambiguous. Think about it! Dr. Terry Hadaway is an author, speaker, university professor, and ezine publisher. His lighthearted and insightful articles are read by thousands of people every day. Visit http://www.thinkezine.com for more information.
MORE RESOURCES: Work At Chess.com Chess.com Report: community college students need more career guidance Inside Higher Ed Careers - Human Resources Kennesaw State University Will Artificial Intelligence Steal My Job? | On Careers | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov Workers eager to fill 3,000 Las Vegas jobs to build Brightline Fox 5 Las Vegas Careers Boys & Girls Clubs of America Careers at TWU | The Office of Human Resources | TWU Texas Woman's University Careers Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center Careers Micron Tesla mass layoffs impact Bay Area, with over 2,750 jobs lost San Francisco Chronicle Careers at FEMA FEMA Find a Job Samaritan Health Services Careers | Job Opportunities | MaineHealth MaineHealth Careers at Bucknell Bucknell University Curry College launches job guarantee program Inside Higher Ed Job Search Results - Careers at UnitedHealth Group UnitedHealth Group Career Paths FEMA Industry sells workers on ag jobs The Western Producer My career race is in the home stretch, here's what I know Financial Times Employment USC Upstate Green careers report: Understanding green jobs and their increasing demand The Economic Times Veterans and transitioning military | VA Careers VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Data indicates a strong job market but some employment seekers — even those with a Ph.D. — say they struggle Yahoo Finance Careers Smith College Grécourt Gate What Researchers Discovered When They Sent 80000 Fake Résumés to U.S. Jobs The New York Times Careers at NATO NATO HQ Apply for a Job The City of Vancouver, WA The Best Jobs in America in 2024 | Careers | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money Despite lagging performance, California expected to avoid recession Los Angeles Times Careers at NADA | NADA NADA Blog Chesapeake Public Schools Employment Opportunities Chesapeake Public Schools Careers at USI University of Southern Indiana Careers Medline Newsroom Work for Us (U.S National Park Service Careers The Ocean Cleanup Careers at Air Liquide Air Liquide Careers | US Forest Service USDA Forest Service Careers in mental health services : Career Outlook: U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics Lawsuit claims Sheetz denied employment to class of job applicants because of their race WPXI Pittsburgh Careers Technip Energies Early careers UBS AI Will Transform the Global Economy. Let's Make Sure It Benefits Humanity. International Monetary Fund Careers CPKC Work Here UnitedHealth Group CoinGecko Careers: Careers at CoinGecko CoinGecko Careers with Impact IFC Press Releases It's Time to Rethink Traditional Career Trajectories HBR.org Daily Which US workers are exposed to AI in their jobs? Pew Research Center What We Offer UnitedHealth Group Best job site of 2024 TechRadar Education and Development WellSpan Health Career Symposium National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences The Challenges of Retiring from a High-Powered Job HBR.org Daily Opinion | The A.I. Economy Will Make Jobs More Human The New York Times In-Demand Jobs for Seniors | Retirement | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money US economy likely generated 200,000 new jobs in July The Associated Press Explore and find your profession TotalEnergies.com John Lewis publishes job interview questions to aid preparation Personnel Today 40 Best Travel Jobs To Make Money Traveling (They Really Exist!) Expert Vagabond Find a Role Bain & Company Careers at UNHCR UNHCR Jobs Energy.gov Upgraded National Career Service portal to give job market a fillip Business Standard Employment Opportunities City of Windsor Careers City of Somerville Careers | City of Norfolk, Virginia - Official Website City of Norfolk (.gov) Jobs at Parks Canada Canada.ca Careers & Employment Pinellas County Employment Opportunities Unity Health Toronto Departments - Human Resources - Job Openings and Descriptions City of Round Rock ADM Job Openings Unlocking Nature. Enriching Life. | ADM |
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