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How to Overcome a Bad First Impression
Have any of these situations happened to you? Forgetting your client's name, unintentionally insulting a co-worker, spilling coffee on your boss, not recognizing an old friend, drinking too much at the company party, sending a racy e-mail to the wrong person, or asking a woman's due date when she's not pregnant - ouch! You never have a second chance to make a first impression, so what happens when that first impression is a negative one? In a perfect world none of these things would occur, but the truth is, we all make mistakes. Effective communicators are not only aware of how their actions impact others; they also know how to respond in uncomfortable situations. If handled properly, flubs can actually serve to strengthen your image and help you gain respect. If you've committed a social faux pas here is how you can recover. Apologize Immediately. Time is of the essence when it comes to image damage control. As soon as you realize that you may have offended someone, address it. The more time that passes, the more the story can become blown out of proportion. While first impressions stick, so do last impressions. Take control of the situation by making your last impression a positive, sincere apology. Avoid Over-Apologizing. Saying you're sorry is important, but overdoing it can create another uncomfortable situation. First, your goal in apologizing is to acknowledge your mistake and re-position yourself as being responsible and sensitive. If you repeatedly bring up the past, groveling and begging for forgiveness, you're defeating your purpose. Second, it puts the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to constantly reassure you. Eventually that person may choose to avoid you altogether. Make No Assumptions. It's easy to assume that others think the worst of you, but usually what we imagine is far worse than reality. Approach your apology by owning your feelings rather than telling others how you assume they feel. This gives you a chance to test their perceptions and get a real handle on the situation. So, instead of starting out with, "You must think I'm a total idiot?" speak for yourself, "I'm uncomfortable with how I behaved yesterday because I realized I might have offended you. Did you feel the same way?" Starting out this way also prevents over-apologizing because the other person may think it was no big deal. Be Sincere. No matter what the circumstances, a sincere apology requires three steps. First, own what happened fully without blaming it on other people or circumstances. Second, acknowledge how your actions affected the other person which means listening without defending yourself. Third, commit to what you will do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake. Such an apology might sound like, "I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. After speaking with you, I can hear how much my comments offended you and caused embarrassment. I want you to know that in the future I will be more sensitive." Humor Works. Depending on the situation, a little self-deprecating humor can save you. Make sure it's directed only at you and does not increase anybody else's level of discomfort. Sometimes calling it like you see it in the moment breaks the tension and provides an opening for you to recover. Be careful not to over indulge though. Too much self-deprecation can have the same effect as over-apologizing. Monitor Future Behavior. Communication has a cumulative effect, so every impression you make builds on the previous one. Overcoming a bad impression requires that all future behavior be consistent with how you want to be perceived. It will take time and trust to change perceptions, but it can be done! Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, communications coach, and author of Positive First Impressions: 83 Ways to Establish Confidence, Competence, and Trust. She can be reached through her Web site, http://www.susanfee.com.
MORE RESOURCES: Employment opportunities Department of Taxation and Finance Search & Apply Lowe's Careers at USCIS USCIS Careers UNCO News Central Careers | Career Opportunities West Virginia University The Best Jobs in America in 2025 U.S News & World Report Money Jobs- Legacy Energy.gov Jobs, health and inclusion at Davos 2025. Here's what to know World Economic Forum Careers ontarioca.gov Plan your career pathway or job search with comprehensive online resources from Workforce Development Board kawarthaNOW.com Careers | Home USDA.gov The Right Way to Look for a New Job The Atlantic Careers at TWU Texas Woman's University Nearly Half Of Workers Will Consider A Job Change If Ordered Back To The Office, Survey Finds Forbes Even Harvard M.B.A.s Are Struggling to Land Jobs The Wall Street Journal Jobs City of Rochester (.gov) Howard Levitt: Tariffs would lead to devastating job losses — without the usual safety nets Financial Post Careers and Jobs at CRS Catholic Relief Services Anatomy of a jobs promise Financial Times Working for ICE U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Newsroom Future of Jobs Report 2025: The jobs of the future – and the skills you need to get them World Economic Forum Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov The Future of Jobs Report 2025 World Economic Forum Careers The Ocean Cleanup Careers Fred Hutch News Service Fake Job Postings Are Becoming a Real Problem The Wall Street Journal Jobs at Liberty University Liberty News Work for the City of St. Louis City of St. Louis Careers BASF Career Opportunities UMHB Careers at University of Missouri Health Care | University of Missouri Health Care jobs University of Missouri Health Care The 15 fastest-growing jobs in the US, according to LinkedIn Business Insider Healthcare Jobs at Novant Health | Novant Health Novant Health Start your career journey with Illinois, a top leader in research, teaching, and public engagement University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Career Opportunities Gilead Sciences Careers West Virginia Department of Education Careers at Union | Human Resources Union College Careers Washington State University Future of Jobs Report 2025: These are the fastest growing and declining jobs World Economic Forum Auberle's $1.5 million YouthBuild grant will change lives through training programs that lead to jobs Pittsburgh Union Progress Can I Get a Mortgage If I Just Started a New Job? | 2025 The Mortgage Reports Nursing jobs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Jobs, inflation, and the Fed: How they're all related Yahoo Finance U.S. Job Growth Ends the Year Strong The New York Times Why elite MBA graduates are struggling to find jobs The Economist IOM career gateways International Organization for Migration (IOM) Job Search Results UnitedHealth Group Work for Us (U.S. National Park Service) National Park Service UF Health Careers UF Health - University of Florida Health UK employers cut jobs after Budget, official data shows Financial Times Careers at Prairie View A&M University Prairie View A&M University Working at Siemens Energy: Careers & Job Opportunities Siemens Energy U.S. payrolls grew by 256,000 in December, much more than expected; unemployment rate falls to 4.1% CNBC Job Opportunities Bellevue School District Physician recruitment agreements: Understanding signing bonuses, relocation expenses, or loan repayment incentives. Medical Economics Reservists (On-Call) FEMA Early Careers | Students & Recent Graduates | BCG Careers Boston Consulting Group State Job Openings CT.gov KPMG Careers KPMG Aviation to advertising, top 10 fastest-growing jobs in India 2025 The Indian Express BP axes 4,700 jobs in cost-cutting drive Financial Times Most Americans Feel Good About Their Job Security but Not Their Pay Pew Research Center Join our team FHI 360 Careers Olympic Channel and OBS Olympics Work at the U.S. Department of Energy Energy.gov Students and graduates JPMorgan Chase Bring Resumes To Health Ministry’s Career Expo And Employment Fair Government of Jamaica, Jamaica Information Service Careers at Jacobs Jacobs WORK AT LVMH LVMH Highest-Paying Engineering Careers in 2024 University of North Dakota Careers at Balfour Beatty Balfour Beatty |
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