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How to Overcome a Bad First Impression
Have any of these situations happened to you? Forgetting your client's name, unintentionally insulting a co-worker, spilling coffee on your boss, not recognizing an old friend, drinking too much at the company party, sending a racy e-mail to the wrong person, or asking a woman's due date when she's not pregnant - ouch! You never have a second chance to make a first impression, so what happens when that first impression is a negative one? In a perfect world none of these things would occur, but the truth is, we all make mistakes. Effective communicators are not only aware of how their actions impact others; they also know how to respond in uncomfortable situations. If handled properly, flubs can actually serve to strengthen your image and help you gain respect. If you've committed a social faux pas here is how you can recover. Apologize Immediately. Time is of the essence when it comes to image damage control. As soon as you realize that you may have offended someone, address it. The more time that passes, the more the story can become blown out of proportion. While first impressions stick, so do last impressions. Take control of the situation by making your last impression a positive, sincere apology. Avoid Over-Apologizing. Saying you're sorry is important, but overdoing it can create another uncomfortable situation. First, your goal in apologizing is to acknowledge your mistake and re-position yourself as being responsible and sensitive. If you repeatedly bring up the past, groveling and begging for forgiveness, you're defeating your purpose. Second, it puts the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to constantly reassure you. Eventually that person may choose to avoid you altogether. Make No Assumptions. It's easy to assume that others think the worst of you, but usually what we imagine is far worse than reality. Approach your apology by owning your feelings rather than telling others how you assume they feel. This gives you a chance to test their perceptions and get a real handle on the situation. So, instead of starting out with, "You must think I'm a total idiot?" speak for yourself, "I'm uncomfortable with how I behaved yesterday because I realized I might have offended you. Did you feel the same way?" Starting out this way also prevents over-apologizing because the other person may think it was no big deal. Be Sincere. No matter what the circumstances, a sincere apology requires three steps. First, own what happened fully without blaming it on other people or circumstances. Second, acknowledge how your actions affected the other person which means listening without defending yourself. Third, commit to what you will do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake. Such an apology might sound like, "I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. After speaking with you, I can hear how much my comments offended you and caused embarrassment. I want you to know that in the future I will be more sensitive." Humor Works. Depending on the situation, a little self-deprecating humor can save you. Make sure it's directed only at you and does not increase anybody else's level of discomfort. Sometimes calling it like you see it in the moment breaks the tension and provides an opening for you to recover. Be careful not to over indulge though. Too much self-deprecation can have the same effect as over-apologizing. Monitor Future Behavior. Communication has a cumulative effect, so every impression you make builds on the previous one. Overcoming a bad impression requires that all future behavior be consistent with how you want to be perceived. It will take time and trust to change perceptions, but it can be done! Susan Fee is a licensed counselor, communications coach, and author of Positive First Impressions: 83 Ways to Establish Confidence, Competence, and Trust. She can be reached through her Web site, http://www.susanfee.com.
MORE RESOURCES: Careers at Givaudan Givaudan Meet Native American Veterans where they live with a VA career VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Careers | Career Opportunities West Virginia University I moved to Alaska after college for a job. I lost all my friends because I put my career first. Business Insider Jobs City of Rochester (.gov) Careers at TWU Texas Woman's University 15 Companies Offering Health Insurance to Part-Time Workers U.S News & World Report Money Careers at FEMA FEMA Physicians are the nation’s top earners – a slideshow Medical Economics Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov Jobs at Liberty University Liberty News City of Tampa Careers City of Tampa Job Seekers University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Healthcare Jobs at Novant Health | Novant Health Novant Health Nursing jobs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Career Opportunities UMHB Statement by Acting Secretary of Labor Julie Su on October jobs report US Department of Labor Careers at Union | Human Resources Union College Careers Washington State University Recruiters urge candidates to use AI to apply for jobs Financial Times US employers added just 12,000 jobs last month as hurricanes and strikes sharply reduce payrolls The Associated Press Working for ICE U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Newsroom October 2024 jobs report: How two major hurricanes, labor strike might affect the numbers - NBC News UF Health Careers UF Health - University of Florida Health Work for Us (U.S. National Park Service) National Park Service Careers at Prairie View A&M University Prairie View A&M University Job Search Results UnitedHealth Group UN COMMON CAREERS VCU Health Work With Us National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Career Opportunities Gilead Sciences Careers Medline Reservists (On-Call) FEMA Jobs and internships Bureau of Transportation Statistics Job Opportunities Bellevue School District How to Apply FEMA Careers Micron Careers at Discovery Education Discovery Education Jobs report on eve of election will be among the most muddled in years The Associated Press Careers KPMG Join our team FHI 360 Internship Opportunities | Careers Boston Consulting Group What Trump's election victory means for job seekers Business Insider Careers at Jacobs Jacobs Careers in A&O Shearman Work At Chess.com Chess.com Students and graduates JPMorgan Chase Career Paths FEMA Careers at Balfour Beatty Balfour Beatty Highest-Paying Engineering Careers in 2024 University of North Dakota The secret to career success may well be off to the side The Economist The 16 Best Jobs for Creative & Restless ADHD Brains ADDitude magazine Mental health at work World Health Organization The 10 jobs that landed the biggest pay rises in financial year 2024 The Australian Financial Review Benefits for the whole you Accenture Why Employees Quit HBR.org Daily JobFeed NSW Department of Education Two unis walking the career path alongside graduates The Australian Financial Review How to realize the potential of rising digital jobs World Economic Forum Careers Turner & Townsend Current opportunities Turner & Townsend AI Will Transform the Global Economy. Let’s Make Sure It Benefits Humanity. International Monetary Fund Careers City of Norfolk (.gov) 9 Trends That Will Shape Work in 2024 and Beyond HBR.org Daily 8 global issues shaping and driving job creation World Economic Forum Jobs Energy.gov Careers at King County King County More and more jobs can be done from anywhere. What does that mean for workers? World Economic Forum > Careers > Job-listings National Reconnaissance Office Employment Opportunities Unity Health Toronto Jobs Dublin City University Careers City of Somerville Careers UTSA Today Careers at USI University of Southern Indiana Careers with the City of London City of London, Ontario Apply for a Job - The City of Vancouver, WA |
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