|
Are You Taking Your Inner Brat to Work?
Is your inner brat taking over your job? Everyone has an inner brat. It's the part of us that's still a 2-year-old. It gets furious at the slightest inconvenience. It feels entitled to get what it wants when it wants, and complains when things don't go its way. Your inner brat not only makes you miserable, it makes work unpleasant for everyone else. Chances are this describes someone you work with. It's always easier to spot someone else's inner brat than your own. But take a moment now to reflect on yourself and answer the following questions: * Do you frequently complain that something isn't fair? * Do you get angry at least once a day? * Do you hate at least one person at work? * Have you almost quit your job on the spot because you were upset? * Are you a spreader of gossip? * Do you frequently "forget" to do work or pass on messages that other people are waiting for? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably don't enjoy your job very much. Research has shown that while some jobs are more stressful than others, your level of dissatisfaction has more to do with your attitude than with the job itself. For example, consider two women, Abigail and Betty, who work as nurse's aides in a hospital. Abigail complains, "All I do is clean up other people's messes. Patients don't appreciate what I do for them. If I'm 5 minutes late or if I forget to wash out a bed pan, I get yelled at. When I first started here they promised I'd get two breaks a day. Now I'm lucky if I even get one. I hate this job." Here's how Betty sees her job: "I like to know that I can make the patients more comfortable. They don't always show appreciation, but I guess I wouldn't either if I was in as much pain as they are. Sometimes I get so busy that I forget things, and my supervisor gets mad. She's got the administration breathing down her neck and can't afford any patient complaints. There are days when I don't even get a break, but the time sure flies by on those days. Even though it's a hard job, I like helping people." THE KEY IS CHANGING PERSPECTIVE You can see from this example that your job is what you make it. It makes no difference whether you work inside or outside, at a desk or behind a counter; or whether you wear jeans or suits to work. If you focus on the negative you will never enjoy your job, no matter how much you get paid. Abigail in the above example has a strong inner brat. She complains and finds fault. She perceives herself as a victim. Not only will her inner brat make her irritable and hard to get along with; it will deprive her of the opportunity to feel good about herself. Betty is more positive about her job, but at the same time she is also realistic. She's aware of the hard work and lack of appreciation, but instead of dwelling on what's missing from her job, she focuses on why she chose to work there in the first place. She gets tired and stressed but she also goes home with a sense of satisfaction. No one is cheerful one hundred percent of the time. But people who don't let their inner brats make mountains out of molehills suffer less stress, and are more optimistic about the future. There are many things you cannot control at work. For example, you have no control over your boss's moods. If your boss is in a bad mood, he or she might take it out on you. But you don't have to let your boss's inner brat push your buttons and unleash your own inner brat. Some aspects of your job may be monotonous or unpleasant. But even then, you can view them in a different way, e.g., by setting up a challenge such as racing the clock, or by doing things in a different order or with different tools. What this does is give you more of a sense of control over your work, thereby reducing both physical and mental stress. SO I'VE TAMED MY OWN INNER BRAT. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT CO-WORKERS WHO HAVEN'T TAMED THEIRS? Who hasn't had to work with someone who is unpleasant, uncooperative and who stirs up trouble? Such people not only bring their inner brats to work with them; they allow them to take over. It's even worse when the inner brat belongs to your boss. The main problem with other people's inner brats is that they trigger your own inner brat. Thus, when Mary fails to relay an important phone message to you because she's angry at you, this gets your own inner brat screaming inside your head, "How dare she do that! She's not going to get away with this!" Then your inner brat spends precious time brooding or plotting revenge. Here are some things you can do when confronted with other people's inner brats: * Ask yourself who "owns" the problem. Did you do something wrong, or is the other person overreacting? If it's the latter, don't feel that you have to fix things. Just minimize your interactions with the person, and don't complain or gossip to someone else. * If your boss is overreacting, say something to acknowledge her feelings, such as, "I can see why you're upset." But don't try to explain or defend yourself at this point. Wait till your boss has calmed down. * When a coworker's uncooperativeness affects your ability to do your job, ask yourself if this is the first time. If so, offer to help him expedite his end of the job. If the person is habitually uncooperative, it's time to start documenting your efforts, and later bring it to the attention of a superior if things don't improve. But do so in an objective way, documenting only facts, not your opinions or feelings. * Keep in mind that other people's bad moods, sarcastic comments and uncooperative behavior can capture your attention to the point that it drains you of energy. Wouldn't you rather save your energy for something more productive? * Finally, remember that it's easier to spot an inner brat in someone else than in yourself. Are you sure it's the other guy's inner brat that's upsetting you -- or is it your own? ---- Copyright ©2005 Pauline Wallin, Ph.D Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004) She is also a life coach. Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
MORE RESOURCES:
Jobs City of Rochester (.gov)
Careers Washington State University
Careers Gwinnett County Public Schools
JobFeed NSW Department of Education
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
War Time Hiring: 5 Steps to Attract Top Talent
A recent report, titled "The War for Talent" stated that over the next 20 years, employee talent will be what differentiates successful companies from those going bust. The late 90's gave us a glimpse of the talent war, but was nothing compared to what's ahead.
Working as a Knowledge Worker in the Information Age
The old adages: "It's not what you know, but who you know" and "High Tech, High Touch" could be the mottos of knowledge workers in the 21st Century.Never before in the history of the world has both networking and interpersonal communication been potentially easier, broader, more wide-spread and paradoxically, more difficult.
Ten Things To Do When You Really, Really Hate Your Job
1. Begin focusing on what you want instead of how much you want to escape.
Defining Success Your Way!
In my career advising practice, I often find that my clients are not clear about what success means for them. Our society defines success primarily around three elements: power, money and fame.
Ive Got the Big Bad B Word on My Job!
That "B" word---B O R E D O M.How did I get this wearing word in my work?I got it because I don't have enough todo in my job! Yes, I have completed myassigned tasks, but I have time left over,which leads to boredom.
The Hidden Job Market: Real or Imagined?
The hidden job market has been touted as the place to go if you want to find the best jobs. It's been said that this sector of the job market accounts for seventy-five percent of all the job openings out there.
Free Resume Examples: More Is Better
If you ever studied any probability theory in high school or college, you probably remember the marbles.Most introductory probability books talk about drawing different colored marbles out of a bag.
Reading the Want Ads--Not for Jobs--For Information
What? Want ads are where job announcementsare, not information!Wait! Job want ads are full of information ifyou know what to do and how to use them.Doubtful? Here are some ideas of the kindsof information you can find as a job seeker.
Ten Resume Writing Tips You Can't Live Without
For some job opening, employers receivehundreds and even thousands of resumes.When you are looking for a job, howcan you best promote yourself? Howcan you convince a prospective employerto pick-up the phone and call you foran interview?Sought-after career coach and authorof the critically-acclaimed book,The Dark Before the Dawn: 70 Secretsto Self-discovery, Theresa Castrostates that you should take into consideration that your resume is the first exposure a potential employer willhave of you.
Formal Business Attire is Making a Comeback
The dot com boom of 1990s brought with it a laissez-faire attitude to dress code. Business casual was not a word that was part of our daily vocabulary.
Resumes That Work: 3 Steps to More and Better Interviews
All of us involved with helping you get a new job, whether as third party recruiters or as representatives of a company, are evaluating you for employment are all receiving hundreds of emailed resumes a day. Having done professional search work for more than thirty years, I have seen both resumes change and how they are delivered change.
Reinventing Yourself for Multiple Careers
In many countries around the globe, people are born into their station in life and hence their professions. It is unnecessary for them to plan a career as they are expected to perform one specific job their entire lives.
It Takes Time
The story goes that after one of Ludwig van Beethoven's performances, several people were offering him their congratulations, when one woman commented, "I wish God had bestowed me with such genius." "It isn't genius, madam, nor is it magic.
Diplomats and Spies
"The Baratarian pirates also offered their services. Even though an American naval force had destroyed their base on Grand Terre Island in September, the Baratarians rejected British overtures to side with them.
How to Pick the Best Career for You: Part 3
Marketing-with-Intent precisely drives you to your target and with greater speed because you are using the right mode of transportation, an accurate compass and a clear vision of where you're headed. You'll differentiate yourself from your competition by using the right vehicle to uncover the best career for you.
Drive Your Career Change - A Direct Approach
If your career has gone off the road, take control and drive back to job satisfaction with a direct approach.When you're looking for that new job or a career move it's easy to think that 'they' hold all the cards.
Hiring Managers: Preventing "Fall-Off's" and Counter Offers
"Bill, thanks so much for your assistance with this search. We're very happy that Robert has accepted the position.
The Last Minute Interview
Your breath catches in your throat - at last, an interview! Elated, you write down the time and place of the interview, who to ask for, say thanks, and hang up!But, wait, it's such short notice, and you haven't been interviewed for ages. Too, you never did get around to practicing.
Cover Letter Warning: Watch Out For the BIG BAD WORD!
Dear Job-Seeker:Just as Goldilocks was suspicious of the big bad wolf, be wary of the big bad word! You know the kind. Pursuant.
Resume Objectives: How Do You Know if Resume Objectives Are Right for You?
Some experts say NEVER bother with resume objectives.While others say they should be an essential element onevery resume.
|