|
Book Summary: How to Work with Just About Anyone
This article is based on the following book: How to Work with Just About Anyone "A Three-step Solution For Getting Difficult People To Change" By Lucy GillPublished by Fireside/ Simon and Schuster 1999 ISBN 0-684-85527-5 206 pages "I just can't seem to get along with this person!" Every office has that one difficult person to work with, who affects productivity due to a terrible attitude, chronic tardiness, or simply drives everyone else up the wall. Here is the answer to common problems in conflict management. Dealing with negative behavior, whether at work or at home, can be solved with three steps: Get to the heart of the matter.Determine what problem-solving methods to avoid so you don't perpetuate the conflict.Choose a different, surprising approach to solve the problem and keep it solved.Finally, here is your key to some peace and sanity in the workplace, drawn from forty years of research and professional experience in consulting on the prevention and management of nonproductive behavior. How difficult behavior is reinforced: People use the same solution that never brings new results. The answer is to try something radically different. Employ atotally new approach and choose your response carefully. Why we fail to change negative behavior: We are caught in the web of our own logic.We don't realize we are doing the same things over and over.We can't think of anything better to try.This three-question formula can lead you to a new strategy: What is the primary problem? Be specific. How exactly does it affect productivity?What have you been doing about your problem so far? Identify the logic of your favorite solution.What do you need to do instead? You need to undo what your ineffective solution did.Attack with a brand new set of weapons. Focus on the facts. Figure out what the heart of the matter is: List all the issues affecting you.Decide which issue or who in particular is bothering you the most.Encircle the issue or person's name on your list.Focus on what you circled. List all the things that bother you about this person.Now pick the problem to work on. If you could only fix one item on the list, and had to live with all the others, what would you choose?Then with the particular problem chosen, spell out specifically: Who is doing what that presents a problem, to whom, and how is this behavior a problem?The 4 ways to get bogged down in "whys" and therefore confused by superfluous issues: Focusing on possible reasons for someone's behaviorSpeculating about what the person is up toLabeling behavior instead of describing itWorrying about who is right or wrongUse reverse psychology! Do something unexpected. Sometimes shock tactics or being brutally honest works.Encourage the person to keep doing what it is that is irritating behavior. It is strange but encouraging people to continue their irritating behavior gets them to stop it.Have fun experimenting with your new approaches!Tell someone not to change what he is doing.Create consequences or let the natural consequences of his negative behavior occur.Urge someone to do the annoying actions even moreNew Conflict Management Techniques Do not offer a long list of reasons why someone should change. Simply tell them what needs to be done. The more you rationalize or argue the more they will resist. You will be wasting time and energy.In the face of constant criticism, silently take note of what is being said, then read the notes back - instead of actively defending each point.Make statements ("Unless it creates a problem for you, I'm going to do X")Give a specific compliment to the other party in a conflict. ("I like the way you presented your report - your lineup of facts made it easy to follow") It catches them off-guard and makes him/her less defensive.Excuse yourself for a minute in the midst of a heated discussion to go to the toilet instead of escalating the argument.Hold back for thirty minutes instead of rushing to fix a problem for someone else.Other "happy workplace" tips: Keep an open mind about why the person behaves in such a manner.See both sides of the situation, not just yours.Be very specific when analyzing the problem. Make a mental videotape of the behavior.Notice when it isn't happening. Understand why. You may have overlooked something you did that didn't result in the other person's annoying behavior.Find someone with immunity and see how he or she successfully handles the troublesome behavior that you're struggling with.(c) Copyright 2001-2002 About The Author By: Regine P. Azurin and Yvette Pantilla http://www.bizsum.com/freearticle2.htm "A Lot Of Great Books....Too Little Time To Read" Free Book Summaries Of Latest Bestsellers for Busy Executives and Entrepreneurs Mailto:freearticle@bizsum.com BusinessSummaries is a BusinessSummaries.com service. BusinessSummaries.com - Wisdom In A Nutshell
MORE RESOURCES:
Jobs City of Rochester (.gov)
Careers Washington State University
Careers Gwinnett County Public Schools
JobFeed NSW Department of Education
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Do You Have a Hotsy-Totsy Resume?
I begin this article with a bit of slang description. Whatdo I mean by a "hotsy totsy" resume? I mean one thatdoes the following for you, the job seeker and apossible employer.
How To Create A Winning Impression In Your New Job
Congratulations! You've just been appointed to your new job. Now the real work begins.
Handing in Your Resignation and Serving Notice
Have you made the right choice? Before deciding to resign from your current position and move to a new employer, you should weigh up as objectively as possible all the relevant factors: remuneration, working environment, location, travel demands, training and development opportunities, promotional prospects, and your future bosses.Consider also what impact a job with the new company would have on your resume.
Writing A Resume That Gets You Noticed
As the old saying goes, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression." In today's business world, of course, that first impression usually does not come from a face-to-face conversation, but from whatever you can tell your future boss about yourself on paper: your resume.
The Best Business And Economy Solutions
In todays Business and economy, starting any business service requires a good business plan. A little money wouldn't hurt either.
Working as a Knowledge Worker in the Information Age
The old adages: "It's not what you know, but who you know" and "High Tech, High Touch" could be the mottos of knowledge workers in the 21st Century.Never before in the history of the world has both networking and interpersonal communication been potentially easier, broader, more wide-spread and paradoxically, more difficult.
Job Search - Understand Employers
Think like an employerTo be successful in your job search campaign you must think like an employer or a recruiter. If you are going to do this right, you need to appreciate the ways that employers sift through the flood of resumes.
Passing The Police Test Just Became Easier
You've taken the police officer selection test or law enforcement entrance exam, but just can't seem to get a high enough passing score. You know you would be a good police officer if you could overcome that first hurdle.
10 Steps to Getting the Most Out of Job Fairs
Many job seekers tend to overlook job fairs. They can be crowded, busy, competitive and confusing events.
5 Resume Mistakes Telecommuters Often Make
Finding a legit telecommute job can be difficult. Telecommute jobs are in high demand and hundreds if not thousands of other people are competing for the same position.
Waiting for Lightening to Strike
Author and management guru, Peter Drucker says, "People adjust to the level of demands made on them." I would add, we also adjust to the level we demand of ourselves.
Top Ten Guidelines For Working With Executive Recruiters
1. Select the right type of recruitment partnerDetermine whether you would be best served by a retained, contingency, contract or research based partner at a global, national or local level.
Your Resume Format - What Is The First Thing You Need To Do?
The first thing you need to do before you write your resume is learn how to format it. Just as if you were cooking a new dish you would follow a recipe, so too should you follow a specific format when you type your resume.
Managing The Boss Is Essential To Career Success
Your boss is the gatekeeper of your career. Unless you are able to manage a positive relationship with him at each step in your career you will fall short of your potential.
Job Interviews and The Secret of Selling Yourself
A very effective and persuasive tactic when selling something is to promote its benefits as well as its features.Very simply, features are what something has; benefits are what those features do for you.
Counteroffers: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
If "resignation" is the word that strikes fear into all employers, then "counteroffer" is the one that strikes fear into an employee's heart. "What should I do? They've matched my offer?"It's Friday afternoon.
Getting Your Online Health Care Administration Degree
Are you thinking about getting your online health care degree but don't know where to start? Afraid of choosing the wrong college or school? Here's a simple guide to help you get started building the career that you've always wanted.Making the decision to get your online health care degree is not any easy one.
Does Your Resume Have What It Takes To Survive The First Cut?
Qualifications" or "Personal Profile") uses bullets and succinct wording to highlight what is likely to most intrigue the employer. Before writing this section, make a list of the 5 to 10 criteria that are most likely to guide the employer's choice - then summarize your qualifications in a way that speaks directly to the employer's interests.
Which Half Are You?
When more than half of Americans were identified as overweight, people took notice. Major news outlets began educating on how to stay out, or get out, of that statistic.
Have You Given Up On Yourself?
Have you given up on yourself? Have you decided to take the easy road and coast for the rest of your life? Have you come to the decision that you have done all you could possibly be expected to do in your life now it is someone else's turn? As you get older you may not be able to run as fast, swim as far, hit the ball as hard or even concentrate as long as you used to but is that the reason to give up? Surely your aim should be to be the best you can at whatever age you are."Navratilova wants to be as good a player as she can possibly be at the age of 47, just as she wanted to be the best she could possibly be at 19, at 25, at 35".
|