|
Self-Preservation Techniques For The Unemployed
Looking for work can be difficult, frustrating, anxiety-provoking, and demeaning. There are few situations we encounter in life where we feel so powerless. Not only do we have a sense that we have little control over the outcome, but we also feel judged. We become objectified, presented like a colt at a yearling auction or a slave on the bidding block. We walk, we talk, we run around in circles, while the "buyers" look us over, discuss our finer points and weaknesses, and make their decision to buy or reject. We are keenly aware of the competition. There are performance pressures: 30 seconds to make a great first impression, 30 minutes to define ourselves as a person, as a worker, to present a lifetime of skills, experience and knowledge. We are acutely aware that every word we utter, every body squirm, every gesture, is being observed, assessed, recorded. Regardless of whether we really want the job or not, we want it to be offered as an affirmation that we have worth, that we count. If we attend interview after interview and receive no offers, the demoralization seeps into our subconscious, confirming our deeply defended but strongly entrenched suspicions that we are just "not good enough," that we don't "measure up," that we lack value. The longer we remain out of work, the more tattered our self-esteem becomes. We start to exhibit that desperate "deer in the headlights" look that makes the likelihood of being offered a position ever more remote. What can we do to halt this erosion of self-value? How can we survive the challenges of looking for work while keeping our self-confidence, self-value, and self-esteem intact? Here are three approaches you may find helpful: 1. Don't blame yourself. Economic difficulties, job migration, corporate downsizing, and employer relocation are social realities. Being laid off does not adversely reflect on your personal worth, your skills, your character, nor your value. "If I had been smarter, I'd have seen it coming" thinking leads to self-criticism and a sense that your current plight is somehow of your own making. Put the blame back where it belongs - on an economy that values profits above people and the short term bottom line over long term stability and steady growth. 2. Take time to appreciate yourself. Too often, unemployment carries not only financial pressures but leads to self-destructive thinking: I'm not able to support my family, I'm a loser, I'm not a man, I'm not the superwoman I planned, I don't contribute anything worthwhile to anybody, the world would be better off without me. Since we define so much of what we are by what we do, when we no longer have a title, we lose ourselves. Work, and the income it provides, is important but it is only a part of a whole life, reflecting only a portion of our character, our abilities, our worth. Take the time to remind yourself of your other life roles: husband/wife/significant other, parent, church member, community participant - any roles you play which are not directly related to work. Because you are not temporarily generating an income, and all that stands for, does not mean that you are not contributing significantly in many other areas: to your family, your friends, your community. While reminding yourself of your non-work personal value, make sure that your frustration with job search is not allowed to spill over and poison your other life roles. 3. Reclaim a sense of control. You may be powerless to ensure an appropriate job offer or line up employers who are champing at the bit to take you on, but you do have control over other aspects of your life. Exercising control over anything can re-assert your old balance and generate confidence in your ability to weather the storm. Set up a schedule for yourself which will give you control over your time and your activities, both job search and personal responsibilities, to avert the wasted energy of running in all directions without accomplishing anything. Examine your diet and exercise program and use your extra time to ensure that you are healthy and fit. Explore what the current stress is doing to your relationships and personal interactions and take the time to strengthen personal ties and sources of support, not drive them away in your misery. Review your household budget and identify ways to save, different patterns of spending, and priorities which can be changed. Yes, being unemployed can be humiliating and depressing and often leads to anxiety, fear, and a permanent sense of insecurity and self-doubt. Using the above and similar strategies can help you emerge from this temporary crisis stronger and with a deeper sense of self and your value, not just as a worker but as a human being. Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Jobs City of Rochester (.gov)
Careers Washington State University
Careers The Guggenheim Museums and Foundation
JobFeed NSW Department of Education
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
10 Tips to Help You Ace the Interview and Get the Job
The interview is the "beauty contest" part of the job search process. Interviewers get to compare candidates by asking them similar questions and comparing the answers.
The 5 Essential Telecommute Résumé Components
1. An attractive layout that is easy to read and follow.
Successful Job Search: Knocking Out The Competition
Most of the time, competition stimulates us, gets our juices flowing, generates creativity, a sense of excitement, and motivates us to perform at our best. Looking for work is another matter! When it comes to financial survival, to regaining independence and self-worth, competition can be crippling.
Managing Emotions During Career Change and Job Search, Part One
How can you manage your emotions during your career change or job search? To answer this practical and wise question, let's first define what emotions are. Emotions, also commonly referred to as feelings, are energy released in your body in response to perceived events, that is, to data received via your five senses.
Focus On White-Collar Crime: Accounting Fraud and Computer Crimes Creates Need; Qualified Investing
An epidemic of white-collar financial crime has resulted in the development of specialized education programs focused on economic crime investigation and fraud management. These college-level degree programs attract students who are interested in law enforcement and are attracted by the very unique nature of these types of crimes and the special investigative techniques required to solve them.
Shades of Grey
A paperweight sits on my desk, etched in silver the message: Life isn't always black and white. It serves as a reminder there are few absolutes at work (or in life).
What Everybody Ought To Know About How To Change Their Career or Profession and Still Survive...
Dr. Denis Waitley, trainer of leaders, including Super Bowl and Olympic athletes, Apollo astronauts, and Fortune 500 executives, is the most listened to voice on personal and career achievement and the author of the all-time best-seller, The Psychology of Winning claims that the 21st century is unlike anything we could have imaged.
Do What You Love, Love What You Do
Everyone dreams of a life full of love and adventure. But we fill ourselves with reasons not to follow our dreams.
Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment
Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position.
The 7 Tough Job Interview Questions That Can Make or Break You - and How to Answer Them
Some interview questions are asked so frequently that they've become classics. Practically every interview you go on you'll be answering one or more of these seven interview questions.
Career Change Success Is Yours If you Follow The Formula
Recent surveys suggest that, given the chance, about four out of 10 people would change career tomorrow and a further two might. The most popular reason given would be to earn more.
Working in Dubai
Dubai in the United Arab Emirates is one of the world's fastest growing employment hotspots in the world. Up to 20 new companies establish themselves in the emirate's free trade zones every week and since 2002 some 650 companies have registered in the Dubai Media City free trade zone alone.
Your Interview Questions Are a Serious Matter
Of course interviews are mainly about you answering the questions they put to you, but at the end of your allotted interview time, the questions that really matter most are yours. You should hope to hear the interviewer ask you:"Have you any questions?"But even if they don't ask, you should grasp the opportunity and say:"Do you mind if I ask a couple of questions?" However you must be careful when planning what questions you're going to ask, and make sure that they are not ones that you should already know the answer to because it's been covered in the interview.
Career Strategy When Your Boss is a Bully
Q. Right after I accepted my new position, the manager who hired me quit.
9 Secrets to Career Success
Are you miserable at your job (or what you are doing) but go anyway to earn a living? Do you feel you are unable to use your talents and are doing things that are stressful? Do you find yourself in a career rut? Wouldn't you rather be in your ideal income position and "Go to Play" everyday? Most people spend approximately 35% to over 67% of their waking hours working. Being unhappy for so much of the day makes it difficult to enjoy the rest of your waking hours.
Job Hunting Tips: Staying Active
Unemployment is depressing: financial pressures stress you out, looking for work is humiliating, and your fragile self-confidence reels under the blows of indifference and rejection.It becomes harder to get up in the morning, to take care of yourself, to be supportive and loving to those around you, to swing energetically into job search activities.
Common Resume Myths & Misconceptions
For the person crafting their first résumé the task can seem a little bit daunting, even a bit frightening. Human Resources [HR] specialists, résumé writing professionals, school advisors, and even friends and family members all have their say.
Job or no Job: The Certainty of Uncertainty
Headline from AP via Yahoo News! January 11, 2005: "Chrysler Expects No Job Cuts in 2005, 2006."
Headline from Detroit Free Press, January 12, 2005: "Chrysler Cuts 200 Hourly Workers.
Job Interviews: What to Wear
It takes between seven and seventeen seconds for a person to make an impression of us and much of that impression is based on how we look. It stand to reason, then, that what we wear to job interviews will make a far greater impact on our success than anything we're likely to say once those first crucial seconds have passed.
Are You In A Groove Or A Rut?
Ruts: the routines in our work and lives that have become uninteresting and bothersome.Everyone has a favorite rut or two.
|