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Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment
Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer. Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject? It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable? If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile -they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are. If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like . . . " We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques: 1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade. 2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups. 3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community. Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality. Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
MORE RESOURCES: Careers at Givaudan Givaudan Meet Native American Veterans where they live with a VA career VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Careers | Career Opportunities West Virginia University I moved to Alaska after college for a job. I lost all my friends because I put my career first. Business Insider Jobs City of Rochester (.gov) Careers at TWU Texas Woman's University 15 Companies Offering Health Insurance to Part-Time Workers U.S News & World Report Money Careers at FEMA FEMA Physicians are the nation’s top earners – a slideshow Medical Economics Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov Jobs at Liberty University Liberty News City of Tampa Careers City of Tampa Job Seekers University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Healthcare Jobs at Novant Health | Novant Health Novant Health Nursing jobs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Career Opportunities UMHB Statement by Acting Secretary of Labor Julie Su on October jobs report US Department of Labor Careers at Union | Human Resources Union College Careers Washington State University Recruiters urge candidates to use AI to apply for jobs Financial Times US employers added just 12,000 jobs last month as hurricanes and strikes sharply reduce payrolls The Associated Press Working for ICE U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Newsroom October 2024 jobs report: How two major hurricanes, labor strike might affect the numbers - NBC News UF Health Careers UF Health - University of Florida Health Work for Us (U.S. National Park Service) National Park Service Careers at Prairie View A&M University Prairie View A&M University Job Search Results UnitedHealth Group UN COMMON CAREERS VCU Health Work With Us National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Career Opportunities Gilead Sciences Careers Medline Reservists (On-Call) FEMA Jobs and internships Bureau of Transportation Statistics Job Opportunities Bellevue School District How to Apply FEMA Careers Micron Careers at Discovery Education Discovery Education Jobs report on eve of election will be among the most muddled in years The Associated Press Careers KPMG Join our team FHI 360 Internship Opportunities | Careers Boston Consulting Group What Trump's election victory means for job seekers Business Insider Careers at Jacobs Jacobs Careers in A&O Shearman Work At Chess.com Chess.com Students and graduates JPMorgan Chase Career Paths FEMA Careers at Balfour Beatty Balfour Beatty Highest-Paying Engineering Careers in 2024 University of North Dakota The secret to career success may well be off to the side The Economist The 16 Best Jobs for Creative & Restless ADHD Brains ADDitude magazine Mental health at work World Health Organization The 10 jobs that landed the biggest pay rises in financial year 2024 The Australian Financial Review Benefits for the whole you Accenture Why Employees Quit HBR.org Daily JobFeed NSW Department of Education Two unis walking the career path alongside graduates The Australian Financial Review How to realize the potential of rising digital jobs World Economic Forum Careers Turner & Townsend Current opportunities Turner & Townsend AI Will Transform the Global Economy. Let’s Make Sure It Benefits Humanity. International Monetary Fund Careers City of Norfolk (.gov) 9 Trends That Will Shape Work in 2024 and Beyond HBR.org Daily 8 global issues shaping and driving job creation World Economic Forum Jobs Energy.gov Careers at King County King County More and more jobs can be done from anywhere. What does that mean for workers? World Economic Forum > Careers > Job-listings National Reconnaissance Office Employment Opportunities Unity Health Toronto Jobs Dublin City University Careers City of Somerville Careers UTSA Today Careers at USI University of Southern Indiana Careers with the City of London City of London, Ontario Apply for a Job - The City of Vancouver, WA |
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