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Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment
Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer. Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject? It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable? If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile -they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are. If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like . . . " We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques: 1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade. 2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups. 3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community. Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality. Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
MORE RESOURCES: Work At Chess.com Chess.com Report: community college students need more career guidance Inside Higher Ed Careers - Human Resources Kennesaw State University Will Artificial Intelligence Steal My Job? | On Careers | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov Careers Boys & Girls Clubs of America Workers eager to fill 3,000 Las Vegas jobs to build Brightline Fox 5 Las Vegas Careers at TWU | The Office of Human Resources | TWU Texas Woman's University Careers Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center Careers Micron Tesla mass layoffs impact Bay Area, with over 2,750 jobs lost San Francisco Chronicle Careers at FEMA FEMA Find a Job Samaritan Health Services Careers | Job Opportunities | MaineHealth MaineHealth Careers at Bucknell Bucknell University Curry College launches job guarantee program Inside Higher Ed Career Paths FEMA Job Search Results - Careers at UnitedHealth Group UnitedHealth Group Industry sells workers on ag jobs The Western Producer My career race is in the home stretch, here's what I know Financial Times Employment USC Upstate Green careers report: Understanding green jobs and their increasing demand The Economic Times Veterans and transitioning military | VA Careers VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Data indicates a strong job market but some employment seekers — even those with a Ph.D. — say they struggle Yahoo Finance Careers Smith College Grécourt Gate What Researchers Discovered When They Sent 80000 Fake Résumés to U.S. Jobs The New York Times Careers at NATO NATO HQ Apply for a Job The City of Vancouver, WA The Best Jobs in America in 2024 | Careers | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money Despite lagging performance, California expected to avoid recession Los Angeles Times Careers at NADA | NADA NADA Blog Chesapeake Public Schools Employment Opportunities Chesapeake Public Schools Careers at USI University of Southern Indiana Careers Medline Newsroom Work for Us (U.S National Park Service Careers The Ocean Cleanup Careers at Air Liquide Air Liquide Careers | US Forest Service USDA Forest Service Careers in mental health services : Career Outlook: U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics Lawsuit claims Sheetz denied employment to class of job applicants because of their race WPXI Pittsburgh Careers Technip Energies Early careers UBS AI Will Transform the Global Economy. Let's Make Sure It Benefits Humanity. International Monetary Fund Careers CPKC Work Here UnitedHealth Group CoinGecko Careers: Careers at CoinGecko CoinGecko Careers with Impact IFC Press Releases It's Time to Rethink Traditional Career Trajectories HBR.org Daily Which US workers are exposed to AI in their jobs? Pew Research Center What We Offer UnitedHealth Group Best job site of 2024 TechRadar Education and Development WellSpan Health Career Symposium National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences The Challenges of Retiring from a High-Powered Job HBR.org Daily Opinion | The A.I. Economy Will Make Jobs More Human The New York Times In-Demand Jobs for Seniors | Retirement | U.S. News U.S News & World Report Money US economy likely generated 200,000 new jobs in July The Associated Press Explore and find your profession TotalEnergies.com John Lewis publishes job interview questions to aid preparation Personnel Today 40 Best Travel Jobs To Make Money Traveling (They Really Exist!) Expert Vagabond Find a Role Bain & Company Careers at UNHCR UNHCR Jobs Energy.gov Upgraded National Career Service portal to give job market a fillip Business Standard Employment Opportunities City of Windsor Careers City of Somerville Careers | City of Norfolk, Virginia - Official Website City of Norfolk (.gov) Jobs at Parks Canada Canada.ca Careers & Employment Pinellas County Employment Opportunities Unity Health Toronto Departments - Human Resources - Job Openings and Descriptions City of Round Rock |
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