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Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment
Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer. Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject? It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable? If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile -they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are. If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like . . . " We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques: 1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade. 2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups. 3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community. Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality. Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
MORE RESOURCES: Employment opportunities Department of Taxation and Finance Search & Apply Lowe's Careers at USCIS USCIS Careers UNCO News Central Careers | Career Opportunities West Virginia University The Best Jobs in America in 2025 U.S News & World Report Money Jobs- Legacy Energy.gov Jobs, health and inclusion at Davos 2025. Here's what to know World Economic Forum Careers ontarioca.gov Plan your career pathway or job search with comprehensive online resources from Workforce Development Board kawarthaNOW.com Careers | Home USDA.gov The Right Way to Look for a New Job The Atlantic Careers at TWU Texas Woman's University Nearly Half Of Workers Will Consider A Job Change If Ordered Back To The Office, Survey Finds Forbes Even Harvard M.B.A.s Are Struggling to Land Jobs The Wall Street Journal Jobs City of Rochester (.gov) Howard Levitt: Tariffs would lead to devastating job losses — without the usual safety nets Financial Post Careers and Jobs at CRS Catholic Relief Services Careers Catholic University Communications Anatomy of a jobs promise Financial Times Working for ICE U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Newsroom Future of Jobs Report 2025: The jobs of the future – and the skills you need to get them World Economic Forum Jobs and Training at FDA FDA.gov The Future of Jobs Report 2025 World Economic Forum Careers Franchise Tax Board Careers The Ocean Cleanup Careers Fred Hutch News Service Work for the City of St. Louis City of St. Louis Jobs at Liberty University Liberty News Fake Job Postings Are Becoming a Real Problem The Wall Street Journal Careers BASF Career Opportunities UMHB Careers at University of Missouri Health Care | University of Missouri Health Care jobs University of Missouri Health Care The 15 fastest-growing jobs in the US, according to LinkedIn Business Insider Healthcare Jobs at Novant Health | Novant Health Novant Health Start your career journey with Illinois, a top leader in research, teaching, and public engagement University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Career Opportunities Gilead Sciences Careers West Virginia Department of Education Careers at Union | Human Resources Union College Careers Washington State University Future of Jobs Report 2025: These are the fastest growing and declining jobs World Economic Forum Auberle's $1.5 million YouthBuild grant will change lives through training programs that lead to jobs Pittsburgh Union Progress Nursing jobs VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairs Jobs, inflation, and the Fed: How they're all related Yahoo Finance U.S. Job Growth Ends the Year Strong The New York Times Why elite MBA graduates are struggling to find jobs The Economist IOM career gateways International Organization for Migration (IOM) Job Search Results UnitedHealth Group Work for Us (U.S. National Park Service) National Park Service UF Health Careers UF Health - University of Florida Health UK employers cut jobs after Budget, official data shows Financial Times Careers at Prairie View A&M University Prairie View A&M University Working at Siemens Energy: Careers & Job Opportunities Siemens Energy U.S. payrolls grew by 256,000 in December, much more than expected; unemployment rate falls to 4.1% CNBC Physician recruitment agreements: Understanding signing bonuses, relocation expenses, or loan repayment incentives. Medical Economics Reservists (On-Call) FEMA Early Careers | Students & Recent Graduates | BCG Careers Boston Consulting Group State Job Openings CT.gov The Top 40 Jobs for Women Looking to Change Careers at 40+ Parade Magazine KPMG Careers KPMG Work with us | Veterans Affairs Veterans Affairs 33 Jobs That Require Little or No Experience in 2025 Money Crashers Aviation to advertising, top 10 fastest-growing jobs in India 2025 The Indian Express BP axes 4,700 jobs in cost-cutting drive Financial Times Most Americans Feel Good About Their Job Security but Not Their Pay Pew Research Center Join our team FHI 360 Careers Olympic Channel and OBS Olympics Work at the U.S. Department of Energy Energy.gov Students and graduates JPMorgan Chase Bring Resumes To Health Ministry’s Career Expo And Employment Fair Government of Jamaica, Jamaica Information Service Careers at Jacobs Jacobs |
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